Mental Illness in my Family
In this life, there is one thing that I have learned that is, we can pick our friends, but we cannot choose the family we are born or adopted into. With that being said, life looks a little different when you have a family member that has a mental illness.
Growing up in a home with a brother that is bipolar, there was a lot of responsibility placed upon myself and my other siblings to ensure that my brother was ok. No one discussed my brother's mental health in our home, and it was something looked at as if it could be fixed. The lack of professional healthcare created a very unstable situation for everyone in the house. As an adult, I have become my brother's sounding board and voice of reason. I am the one he calls when things do not feel right to him, and when the world looks a little complicated, this did not happen overnight. My family would tell my brother to pray about it, and God would fix it all.
Historically, the African American community has a lack of trust in healthcare professionals and secretly dealt with mental health issues. My views have always been different because of my mother. My mother believes in God; however, she also made sure that we understood the importance of proper healthcare and the seriousness of taking care of our mental health. Watching my brother and his struggles as a child, I decided to learn everything I could about what he was experiencing. I watched him as a fifteen-year-old start drinking to deal with the emotions he was experiencing.
As an adult, the few drinks he had as a teenager became a full blow alcohol addiction, and he was still being told to pray about it, and God would fix it. There came the point that my brother called not knowing what to do and if he would make it to the next day. As a family member to an individual with an untreated mental health disorder, it became my job to finally speak up and help him get the help he needed. No one tells you the pain that comes along with calling the police to do a well check on a family member. However, that well check saved my brother's life. My brother is now receiving proper healthcare and is mentally in a good place. The important thing about caring for a family member with a mental health diagnosis is remembering to care for yourself. When we place all the focus on caring for others, we can easily forget that we need to make sure that we are taking care of our own healthcare needs and practicing self-care.
If we fail to take time out for ourselves eventually, we will not be there for our family members or anyone else. If you have ever taken a flight, you have heard the flight attendant say if air pressure drops, place the mask on yourself before assisting others. This is important to remember when caring for a family member. We love them and care for them, but it is critical to place our own health first to care for anyone else properly. If you find yourself unsure of what to do, look for a support group, and it is ok to find someone to talk to yourself. Seeing a therapist does not make you a weak individual; it actually takes a strong person to understand that they cannot do it alone and seek help.